I can't just leave it where it stands
like a pile of rocks that falls
i try to build it up to no avail
I keep trying, i keep trying but all i do is fail
And i can't let it go it's the edge of the cliff
If i let go, i'm done, i'm gone
And i can't handle that i'm no cowboy
I can't ride this mechanical bullshit no more
I'd wish it all away, but it's stuck, engraved
tattooed on my brain
And i try and i try so hard to forget
all the memories, my friends, and my old love
try leave it all behind but it's still right here
just a couple blocks down the road
or an hour drive into the country
where all the people wear cowboy boots and play hockey
and i don't fit in and i don't want to
and i stay awake writing in pain, shock, and regret
of decisions i made, words i said
all those things i've done
in the morning i wish it'd all wash away like a
brand new wave
and it ebbs and it flows
and the tide carries all that shit out to sea

And i hope she remembers me because i still goddamn do
i never meant to her what she meant to me
and i drained myself out for her
i had my bad thoughts but i mean who doesn't?
she was a poison floating around me for way too long
and love is the antidote and lust is spiders
that crawl around your room at nite and in the showers
all the lies that have been fed to me
they just try to stop the blow of how life really feels
and what it really is
a disguise to make you feel good about yourself
except there's nothing except thin air

it's a shame